Domestic Violence (also called intimate partner violence/abuse) is a pattern of violent and coercive behaviors used to establish power and control over an intimate partner through fear and intimidation.
The abuse may be physical, emotional, sexual, economic, or spiritual. Domestic violence is a serious problem and can occur in any relationship. An individual’s size, strength, politics or personality does not determine whether he or she can be abused or be an abuser.
Domestic violence does not discriminate. It happens among heterosexual couples and in same-sex partnerships
It can happen regardless of one’s age, race, ethnicity, religious or cultural beliefs, gender, sexual orientation, education, and socio-economic status. The bottom line is that abusive behavior is never acceptable, whether it’s coming from a man, a woman, a teenager, or an older adult. You deserve to feel valued, respected, and safe. You do not deserve to be abused, nor are you responsible for the abuse.
Computers, tablets and smartphones can easily be monitored and is impossible to completely clear. If you are afraid your devices are being monitored, visit techsafety.org on a safe computer for more detailed information.
The following are examples of a person’s behavior or personality that may be a warning that a person may be abusive. If you answer yes to one or more of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship or be at risk for it.
- Does your partner tease you in a hurtful way in private or in public?
- Does your partner call you names such as “stupid” or “bitch”?
- Does your partner act jealous of your friends, family, or co-workers?
- Does your partner get angry about clothes you wear or how you style your hair?
- Does your partner check-up on you by calling, driving by, or getting someone else to?
- Has your partner gone places with you or sent someone just to “keep an eye on you”?
- Does your partner insist on knowing who you talk with on the phone?
- Does your partner blame you for his problems or his bad mood?
- Does your partner get angry so easily that you feel like you’re “walking on eggshells”?
- Does your partner hit walls, drive dangerously, or do other things to scare you?
- Does your partner often drink or use drugs?
- Does your partner insist that you drink or use drugs with him?
- Have you lost friends or no longer see some of your family because of your partner?
- Does your partner accuse you of being interested in someone else?
- Does your partner read your mail, go through your purse, or other personal papers?
- Does your partner keep money from you, keep you in debt, or have “money secrets?”
- Has your partner kept you from getting a job, or caused you to lose a job?
- Has your partner sold your car, made you give up your license, or not repaired your car?
- Does your partner threaten to hurt you, your children, family, friends, or pets?
- Does your partner force you to have sex when you do not want to?
- Does your partner force you to have sex in ways that you do not want to?
- Does your partner threaten to kill you or himself if you leave?
- Is your partner like “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,” acting one way in front of other people and another way when you are alone?